now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you had me at cake vodka
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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