the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
