Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
