I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
no, he came in my armpit
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
