he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
