If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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