I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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