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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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