So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
