I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize