I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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