i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
