she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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