tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's great music for shaving your balls
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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