does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
