That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize