Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
