btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
