I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
