2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
