Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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