i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
