it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
