It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
