Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just cropdusted the office
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
