Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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