making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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