I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
