Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My vagina just recognized that song.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize