you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
