Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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