a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
