I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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