Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
