He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
