I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm passing your future prison.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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