I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
