eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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