no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
