Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize