absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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