I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize