So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
