Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
