How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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