Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
