oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
