god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
