So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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