i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
