Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
