I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
