I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize