I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm always down for nudity.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
