Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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