Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
