So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
