Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
