There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
