I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i already hear my dad disowning me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
