Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
