Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
